I finally tackled the Partnership Act, was a little apprehensive at first, but my attempt was rewarded with a pleasant realization that " it aint THAAAT bad..."

Just got back from dinner at "Rosati".. no, its not an indonesian restaurant (well I thought it was), but a rather pleasant italian joint on Flinders lane. I use pleasant purely because of the apparent lack of a better word. Wasn't fantastic but wasn't all that bad, price wise was mediocre, an overall mediocre place... but the steak was huge... too bad it was a little too oily for my liking, soup wasn't salty enough (but that could just be me) and bruschetta was a tad bit burnt.

Anyway, feeling super sleepy now, kinda regret going cos I'm behind on my exam prep, and I have a whole day of uni tommorrow... I have three choices..

1) Go home, forget about studying and sleep til morning
2) Go home, try to study and feel like shit tommorow
3) Go home, pretend to study while I listen to music and practise being a rock star (strumming on my air guitar .. of course)

4 days exactly... it's still sore. *sigh*

woohoooo... time to go home (almost), starving now, only had a "cwah-song" in the morning, no work til next Wednesday! (study leave) Feels like a Friday, going out with the gang for dinner tommorrow, therefore cost per wear will go down.. woohooo.. *lem's going crazy*

I feel cheated, a grave misrepresentation led me to think one thing, but in reality, I couldn't be further from the truth. It all boils down to the loose intepretation of words, words which may be sacred to some but meaningless to others. I blame it on my foolishness. I have never felt so naive as I did last night, I guess everyone of us have our moments where we make a complete and utter fool of ourselves. Last night, I owned the moment....

No looking back now, law exam is in 5 days... I'm going abso-f&%king-lutely crazy studying , those so called scholars who write this crap have no sense of "sentencing" (if there is such a word to use in this context), I mean, even they must have been taught in primary school to use short n concise sentences. I'm having to dissect a sentence up into 3-4 parts just to get my head around what it actually implies. And being an open book exam, how much studying is enough? Should I remember all the cases, or just have an understanding of the underlying principles? How much should I put in my summary sheet? Why are there so many darn sub-sub-subsections in the legislation? When is enough actually enough?

I can only do so much... the rest I leave to the man upstairs.... my prayer of choice these days (besides usual prayer for wisdom) is for focus, to direct my concentration to the things at hand, and not to get distracted by the sudden-yet-somewhat-unexplainable-but-pleasant-at times cascade of emotions.....

2 days 15 hours.... still pain pain.

Indecision

Precious images of you intoxicate my mind and suffocate my livelihood

In an instant, memories I hold so dearly are being eroded way, by the bitterness that eats away at my core

Jealousy rears its ugly head, taunting the very thing I once thought was impenetrable

Songs come to life, knowingly voicing out my deepest insecurities

The nights seem longer with each passing day, as I await eagerly in vain, knowing too well it won't ring

An orchestra of confusion plays in my mind, as I thread slowly, carefully; not wanting to fall deeper into what has become an unknown

Life is full of regrets , people often ask, "if you could change one thing from your past, what would it be?" My usual response has always been to change nothing at all, as I believe through my mistakes I've been made a better person. For the first time in my life, I think I would respond differently to that question.

I would say, " I wish I had stood up and said something, faced my fears and step out of the shadows. I wish I had not lied about it, and embrace what might have turned out to be a good thing. I wish I had been more decisive, for how are we to know what is right for us if it hasn't been proven wotherwise? I wish I had not been foolish, to think my actions would bring no consequence. I wish...."

The benefit of hindsight is a beautiful thing, oh how I wish....